Today was a doozy. Up early and had blood drawn for the pre-diabetes study. They didn't call me, so I guess my blood sugar was still below official diabetes level, although last time it was in the pre- stage. Then off to my new job!
Small company with basically four employees, including wife and myself. She will be full-time quickly, while I am on a one month contract, which will be upgraded to full-time if we land business. I am a right hand man. I do research to facilitate proposals to government agencies which result in grants. Sometimes, as have happened in the past, money is literally thrown at the company to spend before the end of a budget period. Other times money is up for grabs based on a brief proposal, or a series of longer proposals.
Meanwhile, I felt really lousy after leaving the office (good thing I wasn't driving). Nausea and lingering deja vu (which is never a good thing for me) - frequent feelings of having dreamed things the night before. Not meaningful things, either, just random images, or memories. Laid down before my therapist visit, and didn't feel much better. Came home and had some dinner and felt much better.
Then out of the blue, just mousing around the internet it all hit. One image triggered another in my mind, which cascaded into an avalanche of memory-dump. Thrashing and moaning, enough to startle the dogs from the other side of the house and bring my daughter in to see what was the matter, or if she could help. Even now, 30 minutes later I am shaky, and don't really remember much of the attack. Panic is not fun, and it is definitely draining. Time for bed, I think.
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