Yesterday an email went out, sort of apologizing for the grade verification mess. Turns out report cards go out NEXT week, not this week. You would think somebody in administration could check a calendar. Still, not going to do anything differently.
And the entire day was terrible. Maybe it was my mood that the kids picked up on. Maybe it was the nice weather that gets the kids riled up. It is useless and unproductive to try to find the source - but many of the kids were unruly and uncontrollable. Which was the theme of my post-evaluation with the supervisor from head office. I teach well but my classroom management is lacking. Same thing the principal mentioned in passing (that he hired me because he wanted somebody with strong classroom management skills, and he was disappointed). So I expect a rather dismal evaluation.
I feel like I am alone on my hall, even though my classroom is in the center. The two teachers on either side do not help out, in fact they make the problem worse with the way they yell, wrestle, etc. with the students. And now I am hearing that both of them make regular reports to the principal on every little thing I say or do. I don't know why, but I do feel undermined, and it is taking a serious toll on my job. On paper, I have the power to manage the students, but they refuse to be managed by me. I can have a string of office referrals which are not a deterrent or even a meaningful consequence to the kids - which will also have the effect of making me look like I can't manage my own classroom. Parents are no help, and in some cases seem to be making the situation worse by encouraging the behavior we are trying to stop, or doing nothing, or blindly supporting their child, even when they are obviously and seriously in the wrong.
This is not just my own, isolated problem either. I spoke with our "model" teacher in the 8th grade and he had the same issues last year when he taught in 6th. I don't know who to talk to, in the school, about this to get any feedback or results, but just have to marinate in it for weeks. And the pressure of TCAP is the thick icing on the cake. Every minute I am not actively teaching, but trying to get kids to respect the rules of the classroom (respect is something I try to teach, but it doesn't seem they have a concept for it), is a minute that weighs on me for not teaching.
It is getting very very bad, and I am starting to doubt myself in a big way. I will have to find out from somebody what the worst case scenario would be, if I get a poor evaluation from the principal. Is it that I don't fit at this school (which is obvious)? Is it that the school management is incapable of running the middle school portion of a K-8 building (which is possible)?
I think I've said it before but it bears repeating, middle school is the HARDEST & WORST age to teach, all the teachers I know who've tried both middle & high have said so. At that age they are just uncontrollable because you can't reason with them yet but they are too big to be scared by the things that worked on them in elementary school. I still think you should try high school math. It definitely seems like this school is not a "good fit" for you.
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