So Much to Say

Thursday was a blur, and a long one at that. Lots of things going on, and a few revelations. Seminar finished, I think there are a few things that I can incorporate into my classroom, at least that is the goal. They let us out early, as some schools had parent/teacher conferences beginning at 3 (if the schools dismiss at 2), so I had a bit of time to kill, since I would be damned if I would go back for my required 2 hours of hell early.

Conferences were what I have come to expect. The kids whose parents we most need to talk to (or confront) never show up. Usually it is this lack of parental involvement that is a cause of the behavior or academic apathy in the first place, so no great loss. Then there are the semi-involved parents, whose child lies to them about not having homework. We had one who knew both children were lying to them, and got caught in lies in the conference, and still wouldn't admit they had lied. It comes as naturally as breathing to them, and it isn't a habit teachers are going to break. And then there are the parents who ignore their scheduled time and show up after the announcement that we are leaving, stay an extra 30 minutes to talk about their child (who gets into trouble, etc.), perhaps hoping that we will be easier on them since we just want to get the hell out after a 12 hour day.

I also started to get a bit pissed at my administration - since they sent 10 of us to the seminar for two days, they told us they would get subs. Well, that might have been an overstatement. I did my part, spent extra time preparing lessons that any literate person could guild the students through. Still, the kids didn't bother to listen, participate, read, or even attempt the work. My second day out they had the guidance counselor cover my classroom. I guess with over 100 teachers from the district at this seminar, subs were in short supply. But it meant that my kids were behind on Friday when I came back.

So Friday was a catch-up day. I taught them what I expected they should have learned on Wednesday, decided to throw Thursday out and hope for the best. I don't do as well in situations where I feel behind, plus I don't enjoy having my plans destroyed by something out of my control, but in the control of somebody who didn't bother to hold up their end. So Friday has some good parts (many students got the concept), some bad parts (students were in rare form, with a lot of disrespect and dis-interest), and I left feeling very down. Later I could look back and just chalk it up as an off day, which I shouldn't beat myself up for having. In the long run it won't affect the students (nothing much I do will), and I am a good enough teacher that the administration won't base things on a bad day. It is just hard for me, with the experiences I have had with being blamed for things out of my control, not to be edgy. And as a profession, lawmakers seem to want to make us responsible for all sorts of things like that, and it is frustrating. Parents, voters, lawmakers, administrators, students all think we are miracle workers, saints who can be shit on and still stay calm, but compensate us poorly, and never recognize openly, honestly and sincerely what we do on a daily basis.