That big gap?

Yeah, I know. Once I get distracted it is pretty hard to come back and pick up the writing again. Part of it is a bad (?) habit - I think too much. So all the crap I mull over day to day doesn't seem to need to be put down electronically. Sometimes I forget, then I get lazy, but never get the motivation to start in. If you said "one of the signs of depression" you would be quite right, although that particular rut in my personality might remain once the depression departs.

For fun, I am going to treat this return as a sort of interview. It will probably be long, so feel free to skip to the end where you find out I am still alive.

What have you been up to this summer?
Not much. (yes, a cop-out answer) The job prospect paused at the beginning of July after we submitted the proposals, which are now at the whim of the government. The only one that has been funded came in well after it was predicted, with a very short turnaround (2 months instead of 16) for the second expanded proposal. If and when funding is received both the wife and I will be on staff through the end of 2012.

Around that same time both the wife and daughter flew up to Brooklyn to visit, and the daughter stayed to hang out with her older sister. I think this is awesome that they have a great sisterly relationship despite (or maybe because of) their six year age difference. Of course they don't really stay in touch with me, so I hear the exploits second or third-hand. Youngest flew home (all by herself) a couple weeks ago, and it is really good to have her back. She is growing so fast and really matured a bit hanging with her sister and godmother, and doing all sorts of big-city stuff that is inconceivable here in Memphis. Just found out last night that my oldest is going to take a train from New York up to NH to visit my mother, then on to spend time with my father. Funny that neither of these people were major presences in her life growing up, so in one sense it is good that she is seeking them out. My grandparents were semi-regular visits (my maternal grands never visited, we went to them), despite the distances I saw them a whole lot, but being a kid I never paid much attention to the conversations or family stories.

Without work to occupy me I had plenty of time to get into mischief. I spent two days while home alone painting the dining room, a project that has been on the list for 2 years. Not my list, mind you, but the wife's. She is the painter. I hate it. But I did a kickass job of it, including some very decent cutting in at the ceiling. I also did a little landscaping (no not the moustache, although that is another outlet, which drives the wife crazy - she hates it), brushed out the dogs to the point where we had several dog-sized piles of fur on the deck. Cars eventually came back from the shop, repaired, to be parked on the new driveway, wide enough for 3 cars (carefully parked).

Lots of catching up on reading, too. Both Patrick Rothfuss books I got in March were finally read (I had read the first back when it came out, but the second was all new). Patiently waited for July 12 and then inhaled A Dance with Dragons. Side note - we switched over to AT&T U-Verse, which we like a lot, and we had HBO for about the first week, so got to watch the first 3 episodes of a Game of Thrones. Now waiting for a friend to pass along his bootleg DVRd copy of the series. And just last week read the newest Harry Dresden (A wizard named Harry - go figure). Now I am wading through the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which is compelling but not terribly fast paced or even that interesting.

Facebook has been a mixed blessing. Games are just time wasters, but I still do a couple or three. Lately a neat little memory-lane group about Newmarket (the hometown) has been burning up the place - fun and getting me to realize a few things, including how oblivious I was to the surroundings. Partly my own myopia, partly the fact that we moved to the town when I was 4, so we didn't have the depth of roots of most of the town families. Still fun to read about.

How are you coping with not working?
It has been easy and hard. I feel compelled to be working on something, but often don't have the energy to do anything. Naps can pounce on me if I lie down and get comfortable. I fret about money, health coverage, all that modern crap. Started walking in the mornings (when it is only in the low 90s) last week...1.3 miles in about 20 minutes. Getting easier, but taking it slow to start. I am not actively seeking work, because I really want this firm to get their funding and bring me on staff. But at some point I will have to find some employment. And the waiting is putting stress on my mental well-being.

The reading is good, and have seen a few movies this summer - all escapism and action and stuff. Thor was OK, Green Lantern less so. Took youngest to Harry Potter, since she wouldn't see it in New York due to bedbug infestations in theaters. Captain America has been the best so far, and I was mildly disappointed in Cowboys and Aliens. Great acting, concept was kind of lacking. And the disturbing realization that the pink "hands" the aliens have in their chests are actually their sex organs (why else have them inside armor, right in front of the heart? Sensitive, delicate work, only exposed in certain situations....hmmmm....bet they didn't intend that).

How's your health?
So glad you asked. Mentally, I struggle. Working on positive thinking, faith in the future and (as I used to say when much younger) the inherent story-book-ness of life. Everything will work out.

On the other hand, last month I woke up in the middle of the night with chest pains. Not on the right side where my persnickety gall bladder will sometimes annoy me, but the other side. I could breathe fine, but it kept me awake and concerned enough to call my doctor. Which led to a trip to a cardiologist, a 24 hour blood pressure monitor, and a treadmill stress test. My heart is fine, blood pressure high, now maintained through a daily pill.

Having ruled out the heart (and thinking more about my general health, realizing that I have been feeling this way for a long time) I noticed that I still have trouble breathing. It feels as if I am neck deep in water - muscles are tired of working to draw breath. So back to my GP - blood work (oh yeah, the cardiologist referred my abnormal blood results to him) and a breathing test. Lungs are also good. The shortness of breath and fatigue are all due to severe anemia and low hemoglobin. Treatable by a B-12 shot and iron pills, but in men this indicates the blood is going somewhere (and not into a vampire). No blood in my stool (yeah, that was fun), so now I am scheduled for a colonoscopy, and as the doctor said (great doctor, by the way, fun and easy going, I asked if I could get a video of my colon, but he can only do stills), since you will be under and have a history of gastro-reflux, we will do both ends. That is the end of next week, and the build up to the procedure will be grueling. Low fiber for 3 days (low residue, I think is the term), then a day of nothing but liquids, capped by a half gallon of gatorade mixed with a month's worth of laxative....Oh yeah, this is going to be unpleasant. And the following day I am doing a GRE tutoring session (another stressor, since the test just changed and they added some content that is more complicated than before).

Enough for now. The heat has somewhat broken - bank sign said only 89 this evening on the way to Target.